Actual Federal Employee Evaluation Quotes

6 Geg
  • Works well only when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap
  • His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.
  • I would not allow this employee to breed.
  • This employee is really not so much of a has-been but more of a definite won’t be.
  • Since my last report, he has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
  • When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there.
  • He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.
  • This young lady has delusions of adequacy.
  • She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
  • This employee should go far-and the sooner he starts the better.
  • This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
  • Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
  • Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn’t watching.
  • A room temperature IQ.
  • Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.
  • A gross ignoramus-144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.
  • A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.
  • A prime candidate for natural deselection.
  • Bright as Alaska in December.
  • One-celled organisms out score him in IQ tests.
  • Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.
  • Fell out of the family tree.
  • Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train is going nowhere.
  • Has two brains, one is lost and the other is out looking for it.
  • He is so dense, light bends around him.
  • If brains were taxed, he’d get a rebate.
  • If he were any more stupid, he’d have to be watered twice a week.
  • If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you’d get change.
  • If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.
  • It is hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.
  • One neuron short of a synapse.
  • Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, he only gargled.
  • Takes him 1 1/2 hours to watch the 60 minutes program.
  • Was left on the Tilt-A-Whirl a bit too long as a baby.
  • Wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.
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